You probably know me on Facebook or Twitter. We're friends on Instagram or a colleague I trust enough to know my inner ramblings and dreams of being a real writer someday. So you know I'm a "what you see is what you get" kinda girl. I don't fake my happiness. It's just who I am. Glass half full or glass half empty?
My answer is that the glass is always full -- halfway with the liquid in it and the other half with the air I breathe.
I had someone tell me once I was trite in my writing and opinions because he thought it was all fake until he realized it really wasn't and I was actually real and apologized. (That, honestly, was the worst insult I've ever received until I realized I didn't really give two poops about his opinion anyway.) But, yeah. I am that happy. I am that positive. I'd like to think I'd have a very blue aura if I believed in that shit. Anyway....
It brings me to this dilemma: people dump on me. All. The. Time. And most of the time it doesn't bother me at all. If I'm in a good place and you're not, that's what friends are for, right? To hear your problems, be a sounding board, help you look at things from another perspective or just to be there as a comforting ear. And I love that I can do that for friends. I do. But sometimes I wonder if those of us who are the "glass always full" types sometimes are the ones of whose advantages are often taken.
(that was an awkward sentance, right? didn't want to end in a preposition. onward!)
Because lately, I'm feeling it. I walk into every day with a smile, my head held high, feeling good. And then a friend or two will tell me their (legitimate) problems and it sinks me a little, knowing they're so sad. So I want to help. I want to do something! Take them out, talk on the phone, do something to get them out of their funk. Whatever I can do. But what's happening instead is that they dump....and then go away. Tell me their problems and then say they want to be alone. Or don't want to talk about it. Or whatever.
I get that. I really, really do. In a way.
But.
But then I don't get why you would tell someone who is over-the-moon enjoying life your issues and then just go away! If you're my friend, I take that to heart and I'm actually brought down a notch or two over what you said because I want to make you feel better and pump you up. Get you out of that funk; share my love of life. I walk into every day happy but when a friend says she's hurting, it hurts me too. So I sink a bit...hoping I'll rise again in helping with her problems. That's the point in having a positive friend, right?
And if you don't want that positive friend to help you? Why put it on them?
On me?
Are you wanting me to be just as miserable as you?
I'm starting to -- no. Not starting. I realize completely that it's now becoming unfair. These people who do this to me feel so much better just for "venting" and can sleep at night because they got it out. They vented and released their stress. Good on them! Sleep soundly then! I am truly happy they can.
But because I love them, when they do that to me? I can't. I worry over what I'm told. I pray. I try to figure out ways to make them feel better because that's what I want to do: I want everyone to approach every day the way I do. Your situation may suck. But there's always a solution. I truly believe that.
So, back to the scenario. My friend got it out -- but put it on me. I can't help but feel that (s)he put it out there for someone else to absorb. Maybe it should be a compliment that they think I CAN absorb that so (s)he didn't have to deal so much...but it's not. It's not a compliment because I feel I'm a vessel now. A dumping ground.
Why is the positive person in your life your dumping ground?
Because, surprise! That positive person also has issues of his or her own to deal with.
We may be happy. We may be teachers and friends and colleagues and strangers with smiles on our faces and a true "glass is full" attitude. But we still don't deserve to be your dumping ground.
