I had an amazing weekend despite myself.
This weekend was, in a word (prefaced with an adverb) absolutely amazing. I had the chance to visit and lunch with long-time Zoner friends Aron and Jacki and Scott and Anne. I met up with even longer-time college and Greek friends Elizabeth and Matt and get to meet Elizabeth's dear friend Julie. I brunched with a hasher-turned friend Sara and meet her lovely girlfriends and dear nieces. And then had a chance to play trivia with Aron again and three of his friends who I've now met on a few occasions and are some of the nicest gentlemen I've ever met. Somewhere in the time among all of that, I also had fun conversations with my high school girlfriends (Vani, Kelly, Laura, Marsha, Mare, Ginny; who did I miss?) electronically and even got my laundry and grocery shopping done. Amazing, right?
But it all happened despite myself.
Because I almost backed out of each and every one of those things.
I'm so glad I didn't. Even as I considered making my excuses, I knew if I just motivated that I would love the experience when I went. It's just that sometimes the motivation gets....hard.
The easy part: groceries? Bah. I always have soup cans in the pantry so shopping can be put off for another day. Same thing for laundry. Easy as pie to hand wash a blouse at home to wear the next day instead of making it to the launders to do a few loads. The personal thing is a little more difficult.
My work, though I love it, can sometimes drain me a little. It's my job to always be upbeat and helpful and, well, in a way? Social. And I do love that: where some folks hate cubical-land? I hate office-with-a-door land! I love being in the middle of everyone, hearing everything, being able to eaves drop and pitch in to help out. And as much as I'd love to work from home some days, it would kill me a little bit every day inside if I had to do that every day and never got out to see others. But, all that being said? I'm not as social as it may seem sometimes.
I love my downtime. I love taking long walks (on the beach) through the neighborhood alone or curling up (with my cat) with my book. I actually more often than not feel awkward in social situations than comfortable. And when I have a long, trying (but productive) week at work where I have to be spot-on, I sometimes just crave hiding away from the world for a few days. Or at least not having to get dressed or showered and leave my cozy little home to venture out to be with other people instead of just posting a status or two online.
So when this weekend was approaching and I saw how many things were socially on my calendar? I actually kinda freaked out a little bit. But, backing up a little:
Today at the grocery store, the attendant checking my groceries stopped, looked up at me and asked me what I did for a living. I told her the basics (media and events in the travel and tourism industry) and she just smiled and said, "I could tell. You're a people-person like me." And I took that as a huge compliment and we chatted a bit more --probably to the chagrin of the person behind me-- but the more I've thought about it tonight, the more I realized just how much that comment really means to me.
Because, if I'm going to be honest here? (And where can you be if not in your own blog?) It tickles me that people think that of me when I know that sometimes I just don't feel it about myself. It occurs to me that those who are not thought of as "people persons" get more Get Out of Jail Free cards, if you will, than those who are perceived as those who are. (And, yep, it makes me irrationally angry!) When people know a friend or colleague is an introvert or the "quiet type", it is never taken as a personal slight if they don't join in or make plans or are moody or any of those things. But if you're that "people person", it's often taken wrong the one moment that you're not On Game.
So, back to the point of all of this. I knew my lunch with Zoners would be amazing (as it always is), but still walked in wondering if I might have done something wrong because one of them I had always played an app game with suddenly stopped playing. And then I went to meet up with old college friends I hadn't seen for years and wondered if it would be OK and comfortable. Next came brunch with only one woman I knew, with relatives of hers and friends I had never met. Finalized with a dear friend inviting me to an exclusive invite-only trivia tournament with people who just really met me less than a month ago.
I wanted to run and hide.
But I didn't. So, despite myself? I went and did all of these things and my weekend was (prefaced with an adverb) absolutely amazing.
And now I'm going to sleep tonight, ready to be spot-on again in my work week because I have all those folks mentioned above who help me come out of my comfort zone to helped me make my life amazing. :
Despite myself. :-)
