Man, it's been a year.
Not a calendar year, mind you. But damn. In the last 12 months, it's been a "What the hell even" kind of year.
An accident where I broke my jaw and got wired shut for a month. Then, seven months later getting shingles (seriously?! SHINGLES?! Am I even old enough for that crap?!) and honestly wanting someone to kill me the first few days I had them, they were that horrible. (I swear it might have been worse than the wiring shut, it was that bad). And then my dear, dear Aunt passing away. Just like Daddy, the time between diagnosis and Final Call was weeks, not months or years. So unfair. And a dear, dear friend losing her own best friend in the same way.
What the hell even.
WTH.
Shouldn't there be some sort of reprise for this? A "Get Out of Jail" card that says: you've had enough! We'll wait 'til next year for more of this craptastic stuff because you've had enough already?!
Funny, though. Reprises come in unexpected ways even when you're that pissed at the whole gaddangged world. Even when life is shit like that (pardon my French)?
I had:
A friend who took me to lunch with his friends and said, "I got this. You've been through enough. Save your money."
A colleague who I didn't think even knew what I'd been going through who came by my desk and remembered enough to say: "your aunt? I'm so sorry. She was the one who always sent you the religious charms and prayer books right?"
(And makes you cry. In a good way.)
A sister who sends you pictures of your beloved nephew just to make you smile.
And a brother who tells you to suck it up (kindly) and sends you silly cards just to make you smile. And, well, to suck it up. :)
And friends. Like all y'all who send private messages of love and support through it all. Or post things on my social media pages saying "this reminds me of you." Or even, "get the hell over this shit, Stacy, you can do it!" Or "A day without Stacy's silliness is missed."
And I realize that even if I want a "do over" in many ways, in others I don't.
I'd SO love to call a mulligan on this entire past year. But only because of my own pain and suffering and for those of my friends' and family. Because, otherwise, if I had to do a "do over" on it all?
I probably would have forgotten or taken for granted how lucky I am to have all y'all in my life. Thank you all.
But, on an aside?
I HATE golf. Can't believe I even know that term enough to use it here even. Next thing you know, I'll be throwing out NASCAR terms too. ;-)
