Sunday Funday with a Great Group of Friends

Oh I do so love this season of the year! Yes, sadly, because it means my TV shows are back on again. Oh, haters, go away. Yup, I'm a TV girl. I know some folks don't "like TV." Some folks don't even HAVE a TV. But I love it. And this is my season. :-)

First, for football. That's a given, right? I mean, you DO know me now, right? But second, for all the season premiers of my beloved shows and new ones they want to throw my way. Fall for me is a great season to nest, brew up some homemade hot chocolate and sit on the couch and watch new TV. And tonight, The Amazing Race started again and I was privileged to have friends like Hilary, Paulie, Amy, James and Nancy come by for food and drink and TV-viewing and introductions to the "Amazing Race Loser iPod Game." (Every show can be made into a game, you know.)

I underestimate my friends. Or I might just be a little self-conscious about myself when throwing a party. This was NOT a party. It wasn't planned or budgeted for (a girl like me has to budget!) But I hadn't seen Paulie in ages, James had never been over, I usually invade Nancy's place and not invite her to my own...are you seeing a pattern here? So I wanted it to be a casual gathering but still something fun. I wanted to be able to offer something fun.

Why on earth did I worry? I'm my own worst enemy sometimes. Okay, I did have some cheesy things. And by cheesy I MEAN cheesy: sliced cheese and crackers, cheese balls and Cheese Nips. (Okay, pretzels, too. And at least a bottle and a half of wine and a few bottles of spirits and mixers, but nothing that was worthy of a reception like this.) But then... Hilary showed up with chips and salsa. Amy and James carted a few bottles of booze and mixers. Paulie and Nancy brought wine -- Nancy throwing in meatballs that were attacked like we were rabid dogs. And Amy even made a comment, in jest: "wow, you never put out a spread like this for our Big Brother nights! I guess we've been watching the wrong show!" And that made me feel eighty-twelve times better for the crapass spread I thought I had put out for my friends tonight.

The thing is? Deep down, I knew not a one of them expected a goshdarned thing. They were just liking the idea of hanging out with friends for an hour or two. *I* put that pressure on myself....and I'm still OK that I did. I do that. Because friends like these deserve First Class Treatment. But the fact that they are more happy with my company than anything I could have put in a glass or on a platter for them? Wow. They made me feel First Class , too. Man, I am totally lucky to have the circles of friends I do and random Sunday nights like this.

My thoughts on Mr. Troy Davis

I'm not even sure how to begin.

First of all, I'm going to say that I don't necessarily disagree with a death penalty. I don't. I have too many loved ones in professions where they put themselves out there in harm's way day in and day out to make sure *I* am safe. Police officers, military members, firemen (and women!), security guards, etc. And if someone is targeted for that reason alone (and it happens), it seems there has to be something more of a punishment on the books than"just" prison to perhaps deter someone from doing it.

That being said...

I don't know how to feel about this case. In case you think this is going to be a "it was the right thing to do, he deserved to die" post and are already on edge about it, let me assure you: it's not. I don't think it was the right thing to do. And I hope we can all learn from this and that Mr. Troy Davis can rest in peace (whether guilty or not) and I'm praying for comfort for his family.

So these are my thoughts then.

I am not going to say he was innocent or not. I don't know enough about the case (it happened the year I graduated from high school in a little rural Wisconsin town, miles away in geography and even more so in culture) except for what I've been reading up on it now. Whether he was guilty or not was not for me to say: it was those folks on the jury at the time who had to make the decision. And I cannot imagine where they are now and how they must be feeling about all of this right now too. Wonder if anyone's thought about that.

A couple of my problems are this: 1) people call it a racial thing. No, I'm not naive enough to not understand that the bias still exists and it sucks. But that jury was more black than white: 7-5, so I don't think that was the SOLE reason he got the conviction. I've read on my Twitter feeds that people feel that and that brings me to point 2) most people who are appalled or opposed have very little knowledge of this case at all. They see and hear what's in the media or on Wikipedia or any number of other sources and call foul. But how many actually study and read the history of the case and the facts before they did that? I appreciate getting behind a cause, but I think a lot of people may have gotten behind it based on other people's opinions instead of one they formed themselves.

That being said? There was way too much doubt in this case to put a man to death. Again: whether innocent or not, I don't understand why, say, a "life in prison" sentence couldn't have been an alternative now after doubts than upholding a death sentence. Folks: is it really such a reprieve to give "life in prison without parole" instead of death? Does that make that person's life so much better? In my opinion (as well a few convicts who have stated they preferred to die than to live their lives that way, year upon year without end), that could be a WORSE punishment to inflict on someone. The family of Officer MacPhail might have been okay with that sentence, had it been the one that came down at the time (and more on that later). And it at least also allows the possibility to research further in cases of innocence or doubt.

One of the problems we have is that the death sentence seems ridiculously arbitrary. A few years ago, another black man Brian Nichols (his race only a factor because of those who say this was a racist thing, nothing more), on trial for rape in this same state, who managed to get a hold of a deputy's gun and shot and killed not only the judge and deputy in the courtroom but others (in front of cameras and many witnesses), and also kidnapped and held another woman before finally surrendering. His sentence? Life in prison. So I ask, how can someone like this get that kind of sentence - when it was so much more clearly obvious he did do these things - than someone else, where there's doubt? I don't understand the discrepancy. How does this man live and another not?

People are speaking out about the family of Officer MacPhail and saying they were happy this justice was served. I want to cut them a little slack. I ask, if you think about it, you do too. It's still fresh for them, even after 20 years. If it were MY son, father, brother, friend who was killed? And the sentence that came down was life in prison? I think I would find peace with that over time and be okay. But the sentence that came down that day was death so I think I can understand how they couldn't find peace until it happened. They were grieving and didn't see the punishment fulfilled. I'm not saying it was the right punishment, but if it were me in those shoes having lost a loved one, I can understand how they might not have had the closure until now if the sentence rendered at the time didn't happen for a couple of decades. They're only humans, too, caught in this sad, sad tragedy. So I AM willing to give them allowances now for anything they say and feel until they can fully recover and move on as well. Let's not hate on them. They're victims too.

The one last thing I want to say is something I saw on a local news program, the NBC station 11Alive, this morning here in Atlanta. A local congressman said, "the people of Georgia put a possible innocent man to death last night." (I tried to find the link to post here, but cannot...so for the sake of transparency, I'm paraphrasing.) That is not true. I'm a person of Georgia for nearly 15 years now and as I admitted in the start of this post, I don't know much about the case other than what I've read in the past few months. But I do know that I had nothing to do with putting Mr. Davis to death. And I hope that most people will understand that.

And I wish this would have ended differently. Whether innocent or not? Only two people really know: Mr. Davis and God himself. And if he was innocent, in faith I believe he found welcoming arms in Heaven last night.

You're Worth It.

I have a few good girlfriends going through the same crap right now so I'm going to say this. Whether for them, a reminder to myself (we all need a reminder now and again, no?) or for someone random possibly reading this that it might pertain to as well.

Ladies, if the gentleman (or lady- depending on your preference) that you like actually likes you too? He will do something to make something happen. Yes, it was illustrated in that silly fun "He's Just Not Into You" movie, but perhaps more poignantly in the book of the same name.

If someone likes you, you'll know. He will show you. And if he doesn't? He's just not into you. So don't waste your time and move on. Even if perhaps he is and he's not up to showing you for whatever reason? Still move on. You're worthy of more. You're worthy of at least that much.

And you're definitely worth more than a booty call if you want to be more than a booty call.

Trust me on this. :-)

I remember only a few days very distinctly in my life. I think I'm blessed (and this may seem odd)... I don't remember many bad days at all. But the "everyday" day doesn't recall emotions much either. Nor do the crazy happy days. When I remember those "distinctive" days in my life, they are not good, bad or indifferent. They just come up in my memory now and again on a day like this.

I know it's so cliche to say it's my generation's turning point or conversation piece, today, 10 years after that horrible day. Mom? Sure, she knows where she was then. She also remembers where she was when Kennedy was shot. Dad was in the Korean Conflict, so he probably knows where he was not only when the armistice happened but where it was and where he was when it happened.

I was born in the very early 70s, a very safe age. I grew up in the prosperity of the 80s and didn't have that "where you were when?" until 9/11 happened 10 years ago today.

So it's going to sound callous to say that I'm privileged to know I have that now. No, I'm not happy I have it. I wish I had never had to experience that or tell my kids or grandkids or nieces and nephews who don't get it (thank God). But it also became something for me and my generation to pinpoint that part of life and time that defines us, like the Moon Landing, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Vietnam War or the Energy Crisis of the 1970s that others knew before we (you readers) or I were too young to understand. I remember the time -- right after that day on 9/11/2001-- where we stopped being Black or White; Male or Female. And we all put or flew American flags on our cars or off the front steps of our homes. We were not Christians or Muslims or Jewish or even Atheists then. We were Americans. And we still are.

I'm not so much happy as I am honored and humbled now that I know when my mama still tells me where she was when Kennedy was shot that I can tell her I knew where I was when the first attack on my homeland was. That she can tell me that story, raising me in so much love in privilege and protection, that I now can understand how she might have felt that day, just knowing how *I* felt this day, 10 years ago.

Tragedy happens in everyday life. It may be personal: your marriage or long-term relationship falls apart, you lose your house, a loved one dies. I'm a firm believer that anyone who has to go through those things has to have time to be selfish. The "woe is me!" feeling? Is so valid and should be embraced. But after you're through that...the reason WHY you went through that? Is to teach the people behind you. And you can support them too. Maybe that was the point of having to go through it.

I'm up for that task. Are you?