Sunday, December 11, 2011

Reflections on 2011 Part 2: July - November




July


The place: Andersonville, Georgia
The peeps: me, mostly. :-) But also Amy, Jaime, Tiffany
The pics: https://www.facebook.com/#!/media/set/?set=a.10150228490286630.318398.654896629&type=1

July was a rather interesting month. It had a bunch of ups: it was this month that I met new friends Jaime and Chris through a renewed friendship with dear Amy. I'd see them all much more in the next half of the year, something I didn't know would ever happen at that time as we laughingly dodged raindrops on the front porch of a Fourth of July party, chanting: "we've got the food!" "but we've got the beer!"

But I also did a lot on my own this month. I love history, read anything I can get my hands on about the American Civil War, love my country and its military, and finally went back down to Andersonville to take photos I never had the previous two times I've been. There is something about this place that's always been incredibly powerful to me. It has an amazing POW-MIA museum and you're free to walk the grounds that was once a POW camp during the war.

On the way home, I also got to visit with my friend Tiffany for an evening ("you can wait for me at this bar I'm afraid to go into, okay?") and go to "church" (aka, the pool) the next day with her friends. It made me realize: between her and Amy, I was very blessed this month. Friends were introducing me to their friends, too. I finally felt, after so many years away from "the city," that I was not only having to go out and meet folks on my own; others were including me in their groups again. And it was a month full of joy.

August

The place: Atlanta and Gainesville, Georgia
The peeps: Jennifer, Hilary, Tiffany, Penny, Brandy, Mary, Amy, Jaime, Dan, Craig, Carla (and oh so many others!)
The pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150266487581630.329637.654896629&type=1&l=b472db1d20

My Big 4-0!

I was so incredibly humbled and touched with my girlfriend Jennifer (she who rescued me back in Part 1: April) asked me what I was doing for my birthday this year, knowing it was one of the "Big 'Uns." I really had no plans, but she wasn't having that: she planned a party for me up at her house where my friends I met when I lived up there were easily able to attend. Miss Tiffany came up from Macon and I carried her (lookit me being Southern) and Hilary up from the city (yo) to celebrate with the best girlfriends a girl could have that Friday night late in August. I have no idea how blessed I am to have Jennifer in my life, but I surely am not going to question it. She's one of them angels on earth, folks.

The night before was my actual birthday and on that day my "city" friends came over to help me celebrate after work (yes, I was smart enough to take a PTO day from work the next day). Long-time friends and new ones all came by to share some drinks and laughs and gifts and surprise pizza-orders and the best birthday dessert ever: Phish food ice cream with candles in it. Oh, and a talking bacon.

September

The place: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
The peeps: family! and dear friends Carrie, Kimmay, Zippy, Kevin
The pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150275824916630.332163.654896629&type=1&l=8950f4456a
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150285085766630.334143.654896629&type=1&l=3804b23d7d

My company holds three trade shows a year: at the end of August, there was one in Chicago and I worked my butt off (oh, I wish literally) at it. Thankfully, my colleagues actually realized that I did, because it's always nice to be appreciated at your job. When the conference ended, I took some vacation time, shuttled to the airport and hopped on a bus out of O'Hare to head up to Milwaukee to visit my family and friends.

The first blessing was being able to meet my new nephew Ethan, born not but 3 weeks before. I also got to see my other niece and nephew I hadn't seen in a couple years and a new nephew I had never met. Oh, joy!

The second was being able to spend time with other friends: high school and college ones who all came together to enjoy a night together. The best part? Now *they're* friends too! Oh, yes. Sometimes I'm envious (but happy) about that... wish I could see them all more often. But there's something so incredibly sweet about introducing folks who love each other, too, even when you're not there. September was an amazing month! And if you had told me then that I'd even see one of them again the very next month, you would have knocked me over with a feather. 900+ miles is a big distance to think you could see friends that often. And yet? It will happen!

I also got a chance to go to a Clemson game with Jennifer (of the Birthday Party hero last month) - my first ACC live game ever! The fact that I'm a huge football fan and got to witness one of the biggest college traditions (The most exciting 25 seconds in college football: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memorial_Stadium,_Clemson) but also to touch the rock and lay on the field afterward? awww yeah. Nothing could top September. Right?

And, yet? October rocked my socks off.

October

The places: Atlanta, Helen, and Babyland General, Georgia
The peeps: Carrie, Nick, Amy, Jaime, Chris, Sherri, Sue!
The pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150327352191630.342412.654896629&type=1&l=ef9203eccf
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150320191711630.341093.654896629&type=1&l=81237f6f0e
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150320157351630.341089.654896629&type=1&l=3f66fc45eb
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150320126426630.341084.654896629&type=1&l=04b32086fd

I don't know how to sum up October except to point y'all to the pictures above. This month, I had the three most amazing back-to-back weekends all year. First, dear Carrie and her boyfriend Nick stopped in the first weekend for a visit on their drive back to Wisconsin from Florida. I still feel bad keeping her up until 3am the night before she had to drive another 11 hours home. (okay, not really) :-)

The second weekend, one of my oldest (errr.. long-time; we're so not old) friends in the world came to visit me. We had tried to do this visit a few times in the past 15 years and it didn't work out. This time, it did! Sue is nothing less than awesome: I picked her up at the airport and we drank wine and talked for hours that same night. Then, we headed to see creepy Cabbage Patch ceremonies, went to a night-before Packer tailgate party, introduced her to Team Trivia (her now new part-time job back home!), celebrated at the Gay Pride Parade here in Atlanta and wandered down to the Dome to watch the Packers beat up on the Falcons. All in 2-1/2 days! If I had my way, I'd bring her back down every weekend.

The third weekend was Oktoberfest in Helen, Georgia with Amy and the gang. I'd been to Helen a couple of times before but never during Oktoberfest celebrations. Amy found us a cute little cabin up on the mountain to rent and between board games, hot-tubbing, tarot card readings, hiking to see beautiful waterfalls, and heading into town to hang at the beer garden, arm wrestle, dance and sing? Woah. My cheeks still hurt now, writing about all this and smiling again as much as I did then.

October, my friends? Rocked.

November

The place: Midtown, Atlanta
The peeps: Amy, Jaime, their mamas
The pics: None

It's no surprise to folks who really know me that I don't particularly like the holiday season. I've gotten better over the years, but it was 15 years ago this year that my Mom and sister drove my Dad up to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota to try to find help for his cancer. We had Thanksgiving dinner in the little diner across the street from the hospital that year while he was up in his hospital bed getting tests done; and, gosh, the food was awful (and I'll usually eat anything!). That same weekend, we called my other siblings up to join us too and we all learned the news that Dad had "weeks to months to live, if even." He ended up passing away halfway between Thanksgiving and Christmas: December 12, 1996.

So sometimes I'm okay this time of year; sometimes I'm a little bit down. And I had some friends offer invitations to come over, but I never really know until I wake up that day how I'll feel or if I want to join, so I never want to commit. This year, Amy and Jaime made me want to.

Both their mamas were in town and if I couldn't be with my own? Holy cheese on a cracker - these two are amazing! Which is really not surprising, knowing their daughters. But I didn't feel lonely, or like a 5th wheel (literally) or sad; it felt like family. It was just the 5 of us at Jaime's place, where she cooked a turkey for the very first time in her life. (It was delish!) We had foods and drinks and football games and board games. I even tried to wrestle Amy (yeah, she could kick my butt into next Tuesday!). and I didn't for one moment feel sad. November was such a month of peace.

See? Didn't I tell you in Part 1 that we had already been over the worst? We really had.

And now....

December

The places: to come
The peeps: to come
The pics: to come

Oh! You didn't expect December by the title, right? Well, you're right. Already this month has been wonderful. The holiday spirit instilled in me by Amy and Jaime in November is continuing strong! I've seen puppet shows and live Christmas performances with friends already. But it's only the11th as I sit and write this now. And though I already have amazing things to say about all that,I think I'm going to hold off because there are so many more coming up, too. I don't want to reflect on this month just yet. I can't do it justice just yet because as I'm looking at the weekends ahead on my calendar and the friends and family I'll see and the things I'll do? It all needs to be included too. Just to be fair.

So. 2011... yeah. With all the ups and downs and heartaches and joys, I would not change a thing about this year for the world. Again, I am so happy I did this. I don't think I fully realized how great a year it's been until I sat down and put pen to paper. So to speak, anyway.

I hope your 2011 has been as amazing as mine. And if not? We're on the verge of a new year that can change all that around. God bless, my friends!

Friday, December 2, 2011

Reflections on 2011 Part 1: January - June


In the month of Thanksgiving, a meme was running around Facebook that I unfortunately didn't pick up until halfway through. I wish I had sooner, as I would have done it too. The meme was this: every day of this month of Thanksgiving, name something for which you're thankful. A brilliant idea, especially if you're committed to it: it helps you to wake up even on your crappiest of days and try to find something positive to focus on instead. Because even one, tiny positive thought could change your day and attitude around, right?

So now it's December and I've decided to take a task on myself similar to that. It's the last month of the year and a bittersweet crazy season for me. I'm not going to do a daily thing now (saving the 12 Days of Christmas for that, yo!), but I am going to count off the monthly *people* I've been thankful this year, 2011. There are many more each month than I can mention here, but I'm just going to choose one each month for the sake of not writing a 10,000 page blog entry.

This is for you, my peeps.

January

The place: Phoenix, Arizona
The peeps: my brother Steve and my mama
The pics: https://www.facebook.com/#!/media/set/?set=a.491123041629.269206.654896629&type=1

There had never been a time where just my mom, my younger brother and I had just the three of us together and no one else. Mom and I both flew out to Phoenix to visit Steve in his gorgeous new home. We cooked together, watched some movies, did tourist sites, shopped for his home. We kicked back on the couch and drank rum and cokes, talked until all hours of the night and gave each other crap like only family members who love each other can. What an amazing way to start the year. I should have realized then it was a sign of more amazing things to come.

Even if I had to get through some bad stuff first. It's a-comin'.

February

The place: Marietta, Georgia
The peeps: Aron, Jacki, Scott
The pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.502099911629.274916.654896629&type=1

You know how you always talk to old friends and say you should reconnect and do something now and again? Yeah. These are the folks who walk the talk. February reconnected me with some old friends and and a constant one: just a simple day out on the town, doing dinner and a play. I don't know if they knew it, but it had been ages since I did something like that and it was soooo good for my psyche. The bad stuff was building. So it was not only to have a "day out," but to do it with friends I hadn't been able to do it with for *years.* It also helped me to realize what I had already known: I had to make some changes in my life. To reconnect with folks, yes. But also to change some things about my own life, my relationships, my living situation, to make sure I could walk the talk, too.

And it happens soon. It does!

March

The place: Tybee Island, Georgia
The peeps: Dianne, Gina, Hilary, Tim, Lisa, Darrell, other hasher folks
The pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/albums/?id=654896629#!/media/set/?set=a.10150114771441630.283974.654896629&type=1

People come into your life for a reason. I think my friend Dianne dated my friend Jay not only because they truly care about each other, but because I was meant to meet her precious soul somehow. I had met her the year before but this year we got to spend more time together: for her big 4-0 and her dear friend Gina's big 3-o... a dual birthday celebration down in Tybee Island.

This tickles me because when I think about it now? I realize I didn't even KNOW her in March of 2010. But yet in 2011, I was there to celebrate, live, laugh, love, drink, eat, shop, swim, bar-crawl and just overall be merry with her. How can I NOT be thankful for this month? :-)

Then came April.

April

The place: Gainesville and Atlanta, Georgia
The peeps: Anne and Jennifer
The pics: none

This was a tough month, for real. I had to get out of my living situation quicker than I thought because of an ugly situation and I really had no idea what to do. I thought I would couch-surf for a while. Maybe rent a hotel for a week or two (most likely on borrowed money, fo sho)? But these two ladies stepped up tenfold for me. This month, as ugly as it started, ended in such joy because the two women mentioned above took me and my Oy kitty in when I had nowhere else to go and they really had no obligation to do it. It restored my faith in the fact that people actually DO things for others, not expecting anything in return. Looking back, this should be the toughest month I had this year. Because of them, I not only survived it, but I can look back on it now and actually think: for your worst month, Stae? It wasn't so bad afteall.

May

The place: Midtown! Finally!
The peeps: Penny, Chris, Scott, Jennifer, Chris2, Aron, Hilary, Leigh Ann, Nancy, others....
The pics: none

The folks mentioned above are nothing less than angels on earth. They stored my belongings when I had nowhere to go. They borrowed and gassed-up trucks and trailers, helped me pack and move boxes and bins and furniture into my new beloved place (with singing radiators!) without asking a thing in return. They welcomed me with gifts of champagne and candles and blessings for my new home, expressing happiness that I was now a new neighbor even if we hadn't spoken in years. April was a mess; May was a joy. Solely because of these folks.

June

The place: Atlanta and Tybee, Georgia (again!)
The peep: Mark, aka Roland
The pics: https://www.facebook.com/media/albums/?id=654896629#!/media/set/?set=a.10150206650046630.313388.654896629&type=1

I was fortunate enough to reconnect in person with someone I had dated briefly in college. We didn't work out then because we were very different people. But we got a chance to visit again this month, 20 years after we had seen each other previously. We're still very different people now (though more similar than we were then, ironically) and his visit ended up as a blessing that I now have a new, actual friend in my life again: the kind of friend that you know you both want the best for each other always. A surprise blessing, June brought me. You could've knocked me over with a feather had you told me in January that would have happened.

-----

So... that's the first half of the year (and the first half of this blog), and we've already been through the worst, I promise! July to December is coming next, full of ridiculously good people: a new nephew, other reconnections not only with the woman who I consider my little sister (who I hadn't spoken to in years), but also a gingered-haired angel and the first real friend I ever had from way back in childhood.

Wow. I'm so glad I'm doing this. I started writing this thinking I might have a few things to feel so happy about. Now I'm a little overwhelmed at how amazing it's really been.

I don't think I even knew it until now.

Gosh, I guess that's why I like writing.

Onto part 2!

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Radiator Lullibies


I live in a cute little old building in Atlanta that was built in the early 1920s from what my research tells me. I'm not sure what it was in its previously lives, but surely it was not always an 8-apartment walk-up, as the strange doors-that-go-to-nowhere and ancient painted-over doorbell ringers tell me. Sometimes I wish I knew, just because I am a history freak and I'd love to know. Other times I'm glad I don't, as I think my imagination may do it more justice.

The other night I snuggled down into my bed with my book, as usual. It was the first night that was really cold in Atlanta this season; I finally had to not only take the screens out of my windows and close them, but turn on the heat. Radiator heat, that is.

Another reason I know my darling little brick building must have had many lives before now: there's only one heat source in the building - from down the basement. Not regulated per unit, it heats the whole building as one and, in my case, by three separate white-painted, randomly-chipped ancient radiator grills that wouldn't surprise me a bit if they were the originals. Oh, the stories those almost century-old coils could probably tell!

Which is exactly what occurred to me as I lay in bed that night: oh, if only they could talk! And then, in the silence of my room? I realized they did. They were! Right there, right then, even. I put my book down and listened.

The one who lives in the bedroom was, naturally, the loudest, considering I was right there. Or perhaps it was just happy to have a chance to speak again, having had to live silently under the loud spitting purple air conditioner in the window above her all summer long. She clanked and hissed contentedly, alternating periodically with a soft, warm hum as the other two in my home answered back. The one that lives in the room now reborn as my living room space answered back periodically; a conversation only they understood and rejoiced in, having not spoken for nearly a year. The one who lives in my bathroom must have always been the calming force: she just mostly silently gave off her warm heat and let the others chatter as she contentedly listened.

And whereas most folks might have found it an annoyance or hindrance to sleep? It was a lullaby to me. It was old friends, meeting up and catching up again, happy to be used and loved and alive again. Oh, the things these ancient beings could tell if only we could understand.

It made me wonder: how many other folks before me adjusted those same dials; turning them up, turning them down, allowing them the purpose they were created to do? What hands have been in the same place as mine? Were they old, young, black, white? Since they were born in the 20s, did they see a roaring good time then, only to feel the hurt of the next couple of decades? Did they warmly comfort folks who were missing family members off to Europe or the Pacific in war? Did they see professionals or freedom riders or free-lovers sitting crossed-legged with cherry smoke scented hookahs in front of them that they happily took in, re-warmed and shared back? Or did they ever sit lonely for any extended period of time, just hoping day after day for that little touch that would wake them up once again?

I'll never know. I wish I spoke radiator so they could tell me so.

The nice thing is that they don't know I don't. So the warmth they're giving me this season is not only the heat off their little bodies, but the stories they'll be sharing with me every night as I fall asleep. The knocking, hisses, purrs? Are their lullaby story gifts to me.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

By my age, this should have happened sooner....


So darned proud of myself right now. I'm finally learning (at my ripe young age) how to budget.

$42 in my checking account until my next payday (still 5 days away - hey, don't judge! It's been a busy visitor-filled, Packer-game goin' and Oktoberfest celebratin' month and all my bills are at least paid!) and no (and I mean almost NO) food in the house, I managed this:

For $26.41.

4 cans of varied Chunky/Progressive Soups
1 Lean Pockets (2 breakfasts right there!)
2 other frozen meals
1 nice loaf of light rye bread
1/2 lb. of Cheddar cheese
3/4 lb. of Honey ham
2 cans of cat food (Oy deserves to eat too)
Cat litter - the good, clumping kind (trust me, would have gone without if I could!)
Bag of garden salad
Package of grape tomatoes (both now combined in a big salad bowl in the fridge)
3-pack of microwave popcorn
A 2-ltr of diet Sprite
1 small bottle of wine

Daaamn. :-) Who knew $26 could stretch that far if you're really trying? This will feed me for over a week! [disclaimer: already had milk and cereal in the house. Wine may already be gone.]

I sense my grocery bills becoming much, much smaller in the future (visualizing "The More You Know" NBC PSA rainbow/star now).

*grin*

And now my car's been fed, too, which means I can still get to work and back in order to collect that next paycheck.

Ah, the things that make us proud these days.

(with a special shout out to friends and family; you know who you are) :-)

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Food for Thought


Learned tonight again: the people who want to keep in touch with you?

Do.

And those who don't?

Don't.

If you want to scream at or cry over or curse about or whatever?

Don't.

They're not bad people.

They don't deserve condemnation or curses or tears.

And you're mature enough now not to play the victim.

Because.

They probably have no idea that you're still thinking about them.

Because.

You're that person for others too.

Have you ever considered that?

Chances are that someone's hurting over you, too.

You hadn't a clue.

Right?

But.

You did nothing wrong.

(Just as they didn't.)

They may have not lived up to your expectations; but you didn't theirs either.

So they're not bad people for that.

Because you aren't either.

(think about it)

(no, really. think about it.)

Which brings me back to the start.

Stop thinking about those who aren't here and those who actually are.

It's past time to do that, isn't it?

Thursday, October 6, 2011

A Funny Story About How Apple Computer Saved Me


My very first computer was a Macintosh Performa 5200 series. I bought it when I was ridiculously broke, had no business buying one but knew I had to for my life and my career. My friend George helped me pick it out and even warned me they were fixin' to discontinue them: the one I was fixin' to buy. Maybe I should look at a PC instead? Nope. I didn't care: I wanted a Mac! Because it made me like the "cool kids" who had them. And I'd have a personal computer to boot.

I wish I still had it and I have no idea where I lost it along the way. Oh, if I had it now, it'd be a show piece up on a shelf, of course (I work on the MacDaddy of Mac computers at work these days - I know that old one couldn't keep up, even at home)...but I still wish I had it.

In everyone's tributes to Mr. Jobs today, I read one friend's posting that he helped her to know that she could adjust to any new system, any new program, wherever she went in her career - and it was because Back Then, everyone not in design or education was on the more affordable PC instead. It's different now, but if you had an Apple computer and not in those fields, you sorta had to teach yourself. The operating systems were so different then. It was a much different time. Today, the OS between the two are so darned similar that it's easy to figure it out. Or there's always Google to help. Back in the early 90s, not so much.

I actually related to her comments: I got a Mac to "be cool" but then proceeded to work in an industry that only used PCs until these last couple of years. But as I moved from job to job, city to city even, building my career? I had the faith I could do it because I had to "teach myself" then. And I could teach myself wherever I went because I had that faith I could. If that makes sense? So, yes, thank you, Mr. Jobs.

Onto the funny story I promised.

I was here in Atlanta and shopping at a Kroger grocery store in Brookhaven once where a gentleman paid a little too much attention to me than I had liked. It was innocent at first: we both were walking the aisles, putting stuff in our shopping carts, running into each other every other aisle as I was driving my buggy up and he was driving his cart down (I'm still Wisconsin; we're buggies there). So we would make a comment now and again, have a giggle over a box of crackers or whatnot, but it was just *grocery shopping* for me. I'm sure he was a nice enough guy, but at the time, I wasn't looking to meet someone.

Didn't think twice about it until we ran into each other again at the check-out lanes. He was right next to mine, so we chatted and whatnot, and I started getting the feeling (or, being a naive girl, finally realized after, oh, eighty-twelve meetings in aisles) that he may have been interested in me. But he finished checking out before me so I wished him a good night, watched him walk away, paid my bill (which may or may not have been a bounced check at the time- I was not only naive but broke), secured my groceries and went out to my car. He should have been long gone by then, right?

Nope.

As I was walking out, he had already car'ed his groceries (let's pretend that's a word, okay?) and was *walking back in* to meet me again. At this point, even a naive little 26-year-old Stacy knew it meant more than small-talk chatter between grocery patrons. He chatted me up a little more aggressively, offering to push my buggy (not cart), walking with me to my car. And I had no idea how to handle it all.

And then we got to my car.

My darling little boxy-framed first-ever car: a 1990 blue Toyota Corolla I paid $110/mo. for that was probably worth much less but I could afford. On it, I had decals and stickers of my favorite things: a Packer helmet, a Cubs logo, a big Badger W...and the Apple sticker of the time. I was still thinking it made me part of "the cool gang," right?The translucent ones they give out now? Haven't put them on my car (I guess I don't care anymore what people think?) - but back then? Oh, yeah. I had that rainbow-colored Apple sticker on the black rubber bumper of my little boxy blue cheap-ass Toyota.

And when we got to my car? He saw it. He looked at it, looked back at me. He looked at it again, looked back at me. And then asked me: "oh! so...um. Oh! Are you one of those gay girls then?"

Heh. Guess he mistook the rainbow Apple for the Pride flag?

(Apparently he was a PC man and didn't know!)

Not wanting his advances and so the only time in my life I reacted without thinking, I told him: "why, yes. Yes I am."

And I didn't realize until much later that that could have gone ugly. Like, hate crime ugly. I was still naive. But I was also fortunate that all he did at that point was say: "oh! okay! well have a nice night then!" And he walked away. And I never saw him again. *grin*

So, yeah. Silly story, right? But when my friend Pat today made her profile picture not the translucent whitish Apple sticker of today but the original rainbow (Colors! Not! Even! In! The! Right! Order! People!), it made me remember this story. And smile out loud.

So, thank you, Mr. Jobs - for making me smile out loud, not because of your actual contribution to society (which was huge), but more as a side effect from that.

May he rest in peace.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Sunday Funday with a Great Group of Friends


Oh I do so love this season of the year! Yes, sadly, because it means my TV shows are back on again. Oh, haters, go away. Yup, I'm a TV girl. I know some folks don't "like TV." Some folks don't even HAVE a TV. But I love it. And this is my season. :-)

First, for football. That's a given, right? I mean, you DO know me now, right? But second, for all the season premiers of my beloved shows and new ones they want to throw my way. Fall for me is a great season to nest, brew up some homemade hot chocolate and sit on the couch and watch new TV. And tonight, The Amazing Race started again and I was privileged to have friends like Hilary, Paulie, Amy, James and Nancy come by for food and drink and TV-viewing and introductions to the "Amazing Race Loser iPod Game." (Every show can be made into a game, you know.)

I underestimate my friends. Or I might just be a little self-conscious about myself when throwing a party. This was NOT a party. It wasn't planned or budgeted for (a girl like me has to budget!) But I hadn't seen Paulie in ages, James had never been over, I usually invade Nancy's place and not invite her to my own...are you seeing a pattern here? So I wanted it to be a casual gathering but still something fun. I wanted to be able to offer something fun.

Why on earth did I worry? I'm my own worst enemy sometimes. Okay, I did have some cheesy things. And by cheesy I MEAN cheesy: sliced cheese and crackers, cheese balls and Cheese Nips. (Okay, pretzels, too. And at least a bottle and a half of wine and a few bottles of spirits and mixers, but nothing that was worthy of a reception like this.) But then... Hilary showed up with chips and salsa. Amy and James carted a few bottles of booze and mixers. Paulie and Nancy brought wine -- Nancy throwing in meatballs that were attacked like we were rabid dogs. And Amy even made a comment, in jest: "wow, you never put out a spread like this for our Big Brother nights! I guess we've been watching the wrong show!" And that made me feel eighty-twelve times better for the crapass spread I thought I had put out for my friends tonight.

The thing is? Deep down, I knew not a one of them expected a goshdarned thing. They were just liking the idea of hanging out with friends for an hour or two. *I* put that pressure on myself....and I'm still OK that I did. I do that. Because friends like these deserve First Class Treatment. But the fact that they are more happy with my company than anything I could have put in a glass or on a platter for them? Wow. They made me feel First Class , too. Man, I am totally lucky to have the circles of friends I do and random Sunday nights like this.

Thursday, September 22, 2011

My thoughts on Mr. Troy Davis


I'm not even sure how to begin.

First of all, I'm going to say that I don't necessarily disagree with a death penalty. I don't. I have too many loved ones in professions where they put themselves out there in harm's way day in and day out to make sure *I* am safe. Police officers, military members, firemen (and women!), security guards, etc. And if someone is targeted for that reason alone (and it happens), it seems there has to be something more of a punishment on the books than"just" prison to perhaps deter someone from doing it.

That being said...

I don't know how to feel about this case. In case you think this is going to be a "it was the right thing to do, he deserved to die" post and are already on edge about it, let me assure you: it's not. I don't think it was the right thing to do. And I hope we can all learn from this and that Mr. Troy Davis can rest in peace (whether guilty or not) and I'm praying for comfort for his family.

So these are my thoughts then.

I am not going to say he was innocent or not. I don't know enough about the case (it happened the year I graduated from high school in a little rural Wisconsin town, miles away in geography and even more so in culture) except for what I've been reading up on it now. Whether he was guilty or not was not for me to say: it was those folks on the jury at the time who had to make the decision. And I cannot imagine where they are now and how they must be feeling about all of this right now too. Wonder if anyone's thought about that.

A couple of my problems are this: 1) people call it a racial thing. No, I'm not naive enough to not understand that the bias still exists and it sucks. But that jury was more black than white: 7-5, so I don't think that was the SOLE reason he got the conviction. I've read on my Twitter feeds that people feel that and that brings me to point 2) most people who are appalled or opposed have very little knowledge of this case at all. They see and hear what's in the media or on Wikipedia or any number of other sources and call foul. But how many actually study and read the history of the case and the facts before they did that? I appreciate getting behind a cause, but I think a lot of people may have gotten behind it based on other people's opinions instead of one they formed themselves.

That being said? There was way too much doubt in this case to put a man to death. Again: whether innocent or not, I don't understand why, say, a "life in prison" sentence couldn't have been an alternative now after doubts than upholding a death sentence. Folks: is it really such a reprieve to give "life in prison without parole" instead of death? Does that make that person's life so much better? In my opinion (as well a few convicts who have stated they preferred to die than to live their lives that way, year upon year without end), that could be a WORSE punishment to inflict on someone. The family of Officer MacPhail might have been okay with that sentence, had it been the one that came down at the time (and more on that later). And it at least also allows the possibility to research further in cases of innocence or doubt.

One of the problems we have is that the death sentence seems ridiculously arbitrary. A few years ago, another black man Brian Nichols (his race only a factor because of those who say this was a racist thing, nothing more), on trial for rape in this same state, who managed to get a hold of a deputy's gun and shot and killed not only the judge and deputy in the courtroom but others (in front of cameras and many witnesses), and also kidnapped and held another woman before finally surrendering. His sentence? Life in prison. So I ask, how can someone like this get that kind of sentence - when it was so much more clearly obvious he did do these things - than someone else, where there's doubt? I don't understand the discrepancy. How does this man live and another not?

People are speaking out about the family of Officer MacPhail and saying they were happy this justice was served. I want to cut them a little slack. I ask, if you think about it, you do too. It's still fresh for them, even after 20 years. If it were MY son, father, brother, friend who was killed? And the sentence that came down was life in prison? I think I would find peace with that over time and be okay. But the sentence that came down that day was death so I think I can understand how they couldn't find peace until it happened. They were grieving and didn't see the punishment fulfilled. I'm not saying it was the right punishment, but if it were me in those shoes having lost a loved one, I can understand how they might not have had the closure until now if the sentence rendered at the time didn't happen for a couple of decades. They're only humans, too, caught in this sad, sad tragedy. So I AM willing to give them allowances now for anything they say and feel until they can fully recover and move on as well. Let's not hate on them. They're victims too.

The one last thing I want to say is something I saw on a local news program, the NBC station 11Alive, this morning here in Atlanta. A local congressman said, "the people of Georgia put a possible innocent man to death last night." (I tried to find the link to post here, but cannot...so for the sake of transparency, I'm paraphrasing.) That is not true. I'm a person of Georgia for nearly 15 years now and as I admitted in the start of this post, I don't know much about the case other than what I've read in the past few months. But I do know that I had nothing to do with putting Mr. Davis to death. And I hope that most people will understand that.

And I wish this would have ended differently. Whether innocent or not? Only two people really know: Mr. Davis and God himself. And if he was innocent, in faith I believe he found welcoming arms in Heaven last night.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

You're Worth It.


I have a few good girlfriends going through the same crap right now so I'm going to say this. Whether for them, a reminder to myself (we all need a reminder now and again, no?) or for someone random possibly reading this that it might pertain to as well.

Ladies, if the gentleman (or lady- depending on your preference) that you like actually likes you too? He will do something to make something happen. Yes, it was illustrated in that silly fun "He's Just Not Into You" movie, but perhaps more poignantly in the book of the same name.

If someone likes you, you'll know. He will show you. And if he doesn't? He's just not into you. So don't waste your time and move on. Even if perhaps he is and he's not up to showing you for whatever reason? Still move on. You're worthy of more. You're worthy of at least that much.

And you're definitely worth more than a booty call if you want to be more than a booty call.

Trust me on this. :-)

Sunday, September 11, 2011


I remember only a few days very distinctly in my life. I think I'm blessed (and this may seem odd)... I don't remember many bad days at all. But the "everyday" day doesn't recall emotions much either. Nor do the crazy happy days. When I remember those "distinctive" days in my life, they are not good, bad or indifferent. They just come up in my memory now and again on a day like this.

I know it's so cliche to say it's my generation's turning point or conversation piece, today, 10 years after that horrible day. Mom? Sure, she knows where she was then. She also remembers where she was when Kennedy was shot. Dad was in the Korean Conflict, so he probably knows where he was not only when the armistice happened but where it was and where he was when it happened.

I was born in the very early 70s, a very safe age. I grew up in the prosperity of the 80s and didn't have that "where you were when?" until 9/11 happened 10 years ago today.

So it's going to sound callous to say that I'm privileged to know I have that now. No, I'm not happy I have it. I wish I had never had to experience that or tell my kids or grandkids or nieces and nephews who don't get it (thank God). But it also became something for me and my generation to pinpoint that part of life and time that defines us, like the Moon Landing, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Vietnam War or the Energy Crisis of the 1970s that others knew before we (you readers) or I were too young to understand. I remember the time -- right after that day on 9/11/2001-- where we stopped being Black or White; Male or Female. And we all put or flew American flags on our cars or off the front steps of our homes. We were not Christians or Muslims or Jewish or even Atheists then. We were Americans. And we still are.

I'm not so much happy as I am honored and humbled now that I know when my mama still tells me where she was when Kennedy was shot that I can tell her I knew where I was when the first attack on my homeland was. That she can tell me that story, raising me in so much love in privilege and protection, that I now can understand how she might have felt that day, just knowing how *I* felt this day, 10 years ago.

Tragedy happens in everyday life. It may be personal: your marriage or long-term relationship falls apart, you lose your house, a loved one dies. I'm a firm believer that anyone who has to go through those things has to have time to be selfish. The "woe is me!" feeling? Is so valid and should be embraced. But after you're through that...the reason WHY you went through that? Is to teach the people behind you. And you can support them too. Maybe that was the point of having to go through it.
I'm up for that task. Are you?

Sunday, August 21, 2011

My 40 year-old advice to my 20-year old self


Now at 40, there are tips I'd love to give to my younger self.






1. There will never be the "perfect time" to do something. Don't put off what you want to do because you're not thin enough or rich enough or stress-free enough or whatever the other reasons are. If you wait for that time to come, it never will. Don't make life happen: let it happen

2. Never delete old photographs. I came across a scrapbook lately in where I put in a photo, writing: "I hate this picture, but a friend told me it's her favorite, so I'm including it, hoping I'll like it someday." Someday is 5 years later now....and I actually do. So keep 'em all. It might surprise you.

3. Sometimes it's OK to give someone a second chance, even against the advice of other friends. Sometimes it does work out.

4. Sometimes it's OK not to. Don't kick yourself about it; just move on.

5. There will always be people who bring up things that happened in the past, assuming that something you did or something you said years ago still defines who you are today. Pay those folks no mind. I've found those who want to be recognized that they've changed are often the ones who don't accept others do.

6. It's a waste of time to feel guilty about what you ate. It's done. Do better tomorrow.

7. The grass is never greener than in your own yard. It may look like it from your front porch looking out toward theirs, but you have no idea what's going on underneath their lawns or what they have to put on it to keep it looking that way. Tend your own yard instead.

8. A friend recently tweeted: "the only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it." It's true.

9. You can wear any damn color at any time of the year you want to.

10. Hair does grow back. Cut bangs for kicks now and again.

11. Set yourself a simple goal you can achieve: do something once a year you wouldn't be able to do if you weren't here. I started that in college: one year, I got SCUBA certified as class credit; another I joined a sorority. Each year since I've tried something new: vacationing on my own, letting someone throw me out of an airplane (er...yes, with parachute), trying on-line dating. It doesn't matter if what you try ends up being something you stick with. Just try something new every year just for kicks.

12. When all is said and done, as long as you're not hurting anyone else, who cares what other people think?

13. Your family does not need to be your friends.

14. Even those you admire fuck up now and again. Try not to be pissed at them for it.

15. You can survive almost anything if you put your mind to it. Those broken hearts you suffered? Those pink slips that came across your desk? You'll get through it. You will. And each time you do, you'll know if it happens again, that you can do it again.

16. Please never set an age time line for yourself. When you set those parameters, it's stress you don't need. To have this career at this age? Or a home or a spouse or X.x kids? You miss out on what could actually be happening at that time. Life has no time line based on age. Work for your goals, but do not set an age limit on them.

17. You're worth more than a booty call.

18. Your family CAN be your friends.

19. Even if you're not first attracted to that person, take the date.

20. You will *never* feel "attractive enough." Even the friends I know who are gorgeous and clever and funny never feel that way about themselves either. The ones you are envious of -- for their curves, or their hair, or their flat bellies or their MBA degrees -- even they feel they're not "attractive enough." So stop waiting until you are and just love yourself for who you are.

21. The best girl friends you'll ever meet are the ones you just randomly sat down next to at a bar one day.

22. Never be afraid to go out on your own. Whether it's to have a dinner out, a beer at a bar, a play you've wanted to see. You never know who you might meet that night. Or you'll never know the great time you could have had if you had just sat home instead.

23. Being single is not a bad thing.

24. Get further education from high school. Whether it's college, a trade, the military: whatever. People say a bachelor's degree is "a dime a dozen" these days -- it's not. And an associate degree or technical degree experience is extremely worthwhile. Find something you love and invest in yourself.

25. If you still have your favorite stuffed animal as an adult? It's okay. :-)

26. Learn how to pour a beer without it overflowing. If you still miss on champagne? It's okay.

27. Your dreams will change over the course of your lifetime. At one point, you may have wanted to be a teacher. Or a doctor. Or a musician. But those dreams can change as you do and if anyone tries to say to you: "but what about that dream you had?" Remember it's okay that it may not be the same one you had a year or so ago. It does not make you a failure. It means you've changed. And that's more than OK.

28. Never stop reading or learning.

29. TV is not bad. Folks who claim "oh, I don't even HAVE a TV!" and act like they're superior for it? Don't feel like you're inferior. TV can be a great educational tool...as long as you're not watching "Jersey Shore" 24 hours a day, that is. ;-)

30. I've been to the Jersey Shore. That's not reality, folks. Don't believe everything you see or read.

31. Give an effort to love your own country. So many folks want to travel and explore other countries and that's great! But recognize -- wherever you live -- how amazing your own can be, too.

32. Mentor someone. You may have gone it alone yourself, but even if you have (especially if you have?) the best thing you can do for another person is to mentor them without expecting something in return.

33. Give in to a good cry now and again. It doesn't make you weak; it makes you human. And that's an amazing thing.

34. Have faith in a higher power.

35. Being vulnerable is not a weakness; it actually takes a strong person to show a vulnerable side. And the people you don't think would relate to you may often become your biggest supporters.

36. We all hear about "random acts of kindness" -- so much that it almost seems cliche now. But it's not. You know how I said once a year, do something different you've never done before? Once a week, just do something kind for someone. Leave a notecard on a colleague's desk saying he's appreciated. Offer to pet sit when she's going out of town. Tell a random stranger you pass on the street that you love his shoes. You never know what kind of day someone is having and what a nice gesture could mean to them.

37. Hang up your cellphone when you get to the check out lane at the grocery store. There is nothing that cannot wait for those few minutes it takes to scan your groceries. The person behind any checkout counter is *a person.* Don't dismiss them -- or anyone who serves you, be it there, at a restaurant, at your oil change place -- as some"thing" that is there to do their job. They are human beings. And at one point in your life, at your first job at 16 or even now today, YOU have been there before and people may have dismissed you as a "servant." Remember how that felt and respect the people who are there to serve you, even if you just think it's "their job." Always thank the person who bags your groceries.

38. Never underestimate the smile you can bring to another. I have a Facebook page (if you're reading this, you may know that!) but every time I post something silly or fun or "Today! In History...!" I have no idea who is reading it or not. In the past week, no less than 4 people -- who never comment on those silly posts -- told me they get smiles from it, or go explore from it, or even just check in every day to see something silly. You may never know how much you uplift other people just in being yourself. Just do it anyway.

39. Chance encounters are not. People are in your life for a reason.

40. There's no one in your life who can inspire you or define you or mean more to you than yourself. Listen to your heart, your mind, your feelings. YOU matter.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Alphabet of Love


It's been far too long since I've blogged. So I'll start back simply with the alphabet game.



Things That Make Me Happy... Alphabet Style
(...and by stream of consciousness even)

A- Albecore Tuna: it's dolphin safe!
B- Bacon. Duh.
C- Chelsey Lately nightly recordings. She totally makes me laugh at 5am when I get up.
D- Dancing on bars. Not quite Coyote Ugly style, but better: the way the girls and I did in college.
E- Eggs. Every which way but poached. Yes, even raw in a beer. Or pickled in a UWSP bar.
F- Fat Fridays! The day you can eat anything (even deep fried Kool-Aid) without guilt.
G- Ghosts. Love me my ghost tours. Someday I hope to actually see one, gaddammit!
H- Harley, the woman. Though the bike ain't bad either.
I- Ice cream. Chocolate. Of course.
J- Jammie pants. The first thing I put on after a long day at work.
K- "Killer Queen" by Queen. You give me a quarter at the bar, this is comin' on the Jukebox.
L- Lorita Zorrita Hammen. It's a blessing to find my sorority sisters; an honor to love my natural one.
M- Momma. No one else in the world like her.
N- Novels. There is nothing better than being smack in the middle of one.
O- Oy! (could this be anything else?)
P- Poking. Not on Facebook, but the ability to poke at someone to bring down walls.
Q- Quincy, M.E. Yup, random I know. But I remember watching it with my Dad.
R- Road trips with friends
S- Sisters. Natural. Sorority. Ones you're blessed with beyond belief (yes, that's you, Hilary.)
T- Tampa, Florida. Because I have never met someone from there who is not amazing.
U- U.S.A. Not a day goes by that I don't realize how blessed I am to live here.
V- Vagina! Crude? Perhaps. But I so love being a woman.
W- Whiskeybelles: 4 of the most talented women I've ever met (yes, there are 4 now).
X- "xoxo" - because it means something when you actually type it.
Y- You. Because you're reading this.
Z- Ziplock bags! hahaha, just kidding. This one's for my Zipsis.

And I didn't even consult a dictionary. The last letter - the hardest to fill in? Was "N." Huh. Go figure. For an English major even!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

For those of you who dare...it's hash talk time!


A hash trash. :-)

There is a rumor that the Savannah Hash was dead. Or dying. Or at the very least hibernating. If that was the case, then their dead and rotting corpses did a mighty fine job of advertising the Full Moon Hash (biggest! Brightest! In 18 years!) that ran last Saturday night. Visitors came from near and far. If I remember correctly, there were three from Tampa, four from Jacksonville (gay, of course), one from Secession and even one or two from Washington State. There were two from Atlanta, one from the Trash, even two from Baltimore and of course, the coolest of the Savannah folks, nevermind the thousands of little nosees who showed up at the start but claimed they were leaving every 10 minutes.

Knowing that meet was 6:30, off at 7:35, those of us coming from the island were a little worried about making the start in time, what with traffic. Your scribe actually was stupid enough to ask Git In My Bed: “do y’all start trail on time here?” The incredulous look was response enough. And it was true. We waited for the sun to set and the moon to come up, it being nearly 8:30 before we actually headed out. The actual lunar body (biggest! Brightest! In 18 years!) was actually a bit of a let down; luckily (not so luckily?), Squats and Swallows provided his own bright pasty moon as substitute until it could rise to the occasion.

Our hares were Tequila Tony and Just Pauline (for now) and they promised us a true Savannah-style Full Moon hash –clothing optional—and a 3.5 on the shiggy scale. Half-excited and half-nervous, we watched our nekkid hares throw down some life jackets (“just in case you’re not a swimmer type”) and gave them their mandatory (“10 minutes!!”) 20 minute head start before following them. With the full moon providing less light than anticipated and the pack having about 2.5 flashlights total among them (RV’s breasts have to count for .5 on their own, no?), we all pretty much stuck together. Little did we know at this point that we would have no worry about a well-lit trail later on.

So off we went, starting down a bit of road until we shimmied over a concrete wall and went down into the woods. These woods on a shiggy-rating were NOT the 3.5 we were promised (warned of?). But given that a good quarter of the pack were crazy cool enough to actually shed their clothes (oh! The things we do for a free t-shirt!), this was not necessarily a bad thing. There were some step-overs and what we here in Atlanta call hamsterland (or maybe it’s just your scribe). And at one point, Goo Lite Special did run ahead and warn us into a detour so we all wouldn’t fall on our faces like she did (or was it the person in front of her? Hmmm. Well, in this story, it was both of them). We twisted and winded through the lightly-covered trees and shrubs, the pack pretty much all staying together and chatting along the way. Every once in a while there was a call of “let the nekkid people go ahead!” only to have those behind (with the flashlights) then call out “egads! Why did we let the nekkid people get ahead?!” Nonetheless, we all pretty much got safely into the beer check/stop without too many bumps, bruises or cuts.

Beers were had and there was fun chatter. Then off we went again – and in this scribe’s surprise, there was beer left! We distributed them for the rest of the trail, making sure to take our garbage with us. Cause, hey. We’re cool like that.

And this is where the fun began. Remember that a good quarter of the pack was nekkid? And there was no light? Well, that changed quite quickly as we shimmied around some woodlands, over a bit of sand dune and into another (quite young or thin) wooded area. Because this is when the night lit up in bright light!

Was it finally the moon? (biggest! Brightest! In 18 years!) Was it just Squats again, bending over and lighting the way? Nope. It was a Coast Guard helicopter, secretly arranged by the hares so we could have light for the rest of the trail.

Or, rather, not.

Props to the Coast Guard for noticing a dozen plus vehicles at the start and thinking something must be going on in the area (seriously, though. Four “no trespassing” signs are not nearly enough!). They circled around until they hit us spot on – and hopefully got blinded right back by all the full moons not in the sky but a couple feet from the ground…and moving at that! The pack froze; we “hid” in the trees that proved not to be trees at all; we were pretty much in full view. And we were at a point where we were to cross a completely clear, er, clearing, before we could get back undercover again. So, of course, we froze.

After about a minute of that (the ‘copter circling closer and closer), we realized we were being ridiculous. Like they couldn’t see us? With their bright-as-the-sun light right in our faces? There were shouts of “oh my god! They’re gonna land!” (hee!) and “Crap! What are we going to do?” (um…finish trail, I reckon) and then we realized: most of us have been through this before….they really couldn’t arrest all of us.

Could they?

Awesome clothed harriers whipped off their shirts to cover the nekkid harriets up and we all hastened back to the start (some folks moving the fastest they had all night!), fully expecting to see a cop there when we arrived. Surprisingly, no. In fact, everyone came in and had a beer or three; we even cracked out the orange food and hot dogs and set up a table in the middle of the road where we were going to start ceremony. I’m guessing now, but it had to be at least 30-40 minutes until an officer finally did show, and then it was only to ask us to leave. Score! No arrests!

But it did mean we had to find another location for circle. After all, Savannah was alive again! And Just Pauline was to get named this night. We packed up (probably everything but Goo’s red vessel – who the heck had that anyway?) and headed to a McSomething bar in the western end of the historic district. At this point, RV remembered her friends owned Blaine’s Backdoor Bar and arranged for us to have a semi-private area of the place (on a Saturday night even!) in order to continue the festivities.

We lost the Baltimore harriets on the way (if I ever see them again, they’re getting punished for leaving us), but most of the pack made it there. We did trail talk and then came the naming. Questions asked, deliberation ensued and long-time named hashers took it outside to come up with a perfect, albeit “pretty” name for Just Pauline: now and forever known as Innocent Until Drunk (OMG! She’s another IUD!). I personally wanted to add “and always drunk” to the end of that, but it didn’t fly. RV, realizing there was no flour, quickly thought on her feet and got some instant potatoes from the kitchen for the naming. She also quickly got a mop when Innocent Until Drunk took her tequila shot (hey! She asked for it!) and then promptly spewed all over the floor.

Overall, a fantastic time. The shiggy meter was incorrect: most of us who have been hashing for years realized it was more a 1.5 than a 3.5….but, again, considering nekkidness and scrapes on boobs and balls? Not such a bad thing. A big thanks to our hares for laying trail, fellow hounds for making it a blast, the GM/RAs who ran a great circle and the Savannah Hash for letting us all invade your city with our own personal little madness.

If Savannah is “dead?” Stay dead, my friends. Because you rock that way. And until next time? On-on!

Screw you, Savannah, Georgia. I hate you.


With a passion right now.


So I got a frickin' parking ticket this weekend -- and lemme tell you, folks: I'm innocent. I know, I know, we all are, always. But I really am. Like, to the point where I took photographs and everything of how the car was positioned, what they wrote on the ticket, etc. They leave a little number that says: "you have the right to contest this - call 651-6470, yadda yadda." So I do. (bloody backwards city, you might want to use an area code too.)


And I'm told: "oh, that was an *officer* who left that; we can't do anything. we would have no idea where you were parked."


I tell them: "oh, I do. guess what? It even has the address on this form! and I have photos, too."


I'm still told to call the police.


Oh, and she was a complete bitch about it. She didn't even know the police number (yeah, right) so gave me an info number instead.


Okeedokee then.


So, I call 411 instead, get the Savannah police number, who, in turn, tell me that they have nothing to do with it. And guess who I should call? The number on the ticket. I actually mention that I did go the other route and they were a little dumbfounded that I was directed to them. I'll give them credit: the POs were nice. But they, too, said that there really isn't anything they can do. That I could ask for a court date....but that usually because it's only $15, people just pay it.


Uh-huh. Exactly. What a frickin' scam. Which is what I told her, too. She was actually very nice and kinda agreed with me and said something relating to the fact that it is kind of a ruckus.


But because no one will actually let me talk to someone, I have no way to even ask for a court date.


I hate you, bloody city of Savannah!


Not only that, but if you don't pay within 5 days? You get a $15 fine on top of that. So, yup. It's 4 days ago now - and because I don't live in fucking Savannah - I will now owe $30 for something I didn't do. Because the backasswards city doesn't even have a website you CAN just go pay it at. Oh now. You gotta mail in a fucking check. Who has checks these days?! And, in any case, how the heck is it going to get to another city and processed in 5 days if you're from out of town? (Even PO agreed that was kinda lame)


If I HAD done wrong, I get it. But I didn't. I have about 20 photographs to prove it. But I can't do buttkiss[sic] about it.


Screw you, Savannah. I hope y'all choke on yourselves and your bloody citations.



Saturday, February 19, 2011

And The Song Remains the Same




Somebody did a song not too long ago. I think it was Kenny Chesney with "I Go Back" or whatever it's called. I should find a link for y'all, but it's not really so much the point as an illustration to what I'm saying in this entry. And if I sent y'all there, you wouldn't keep reading now, would you? You'd go there instead. So.


There are certain songs that will always, always remind you, and in this case, ME, of times and places in the past. We all have them, I'm sure. And even the "bad" ones are still good in some ways: they remind you of that moment and that place in time. And given enough time? Even those are positive. But I'm not meaning to wax poetic here; I'm just fixin' to give you my list.

1.) "It's All Coming Back to Me (K) Now" - Celine Dion. Oh, hells yes, haters: I have the Celine on my iPod. But for a reason.

Back in late fall of 1996, my dad, who was very sick, took a turn for the worse. As his sister was a retired nurse, she knew someone who could get him a quick in at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota. I took a leave of absence from work and my sister did from school (my brothers not able to at that time) and we drove with Momma from Milwaukee up to Godforsaken Minnesota in a cold November as, really, "one last hope" that someone could do something for him. If it wasn't there, it wouldn't be anywhere.

Well, it turned out it wouldn't be anywhere. But for the trip up, I made a CD of music to play and this song was on it. Out of all the other crap I had (mostly Grateful Dead, Floyd or 80s hair bands) at the time, this was one my baby sister - four years younger than I - also knew. So we sang it in the backseat together when Momma took her turn driving and Dad was sleeping restfully in the driver's passenger side. I think it was a hit at the time. So, yeah, not necessarily a good song or a good memory if you consider the situation. But, in a way, it still was. It was three to four minutes of us forgetting why we were on the road and where we were going and just singing to a terribly girl-y silly song for a brief moment of time and laughing about it. I'll always remember it for that.

I did the (K) now in the header because when I finally downloaded it for my iPod, it was actually labeled that way. And sister Lori was even the one who pointed it out to me, I think: she and I both have English degrees and cringed at the mistake. But it still adds to the whole experience now. Especially because half of y'all reading don't even know what I'm talking about in this last paragraph. ;-)

Onward!

2.) "Cecilia" - Simon and Garfunkel The setting: Freshman and Sophomore years, Smith Hall dorm at the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. At my campus, if you lived away from home, it was mandatory to stay in the dorms for the first two years of your college life. I stayed in Smith Hall (chosen blindly for the fact that when I was in high school I had a crush on a guy with the last name "Smith." Yup. That's how I roll.). When I went off to University, I ended up choosing one that only one other person from my high school went (and she left to pursue a higher calling after one semester). So I knew almost literally *no one.* And I was SO fine with that. I knew none of my dorm "wing mates" until I lived there; not even my roommate. In a 10x6 little room, that's a lot of trust, is it not?

Well, in the dorms - if you remember - there was always the "quiet time." It typically was weeknights about 10pm. At that time, you had to close your doors, turn down your music, make sure you were courteous of others. You certainly weren't on lock-down (it wasn't prison, for pete's sake!), but it was the wind-down time out of respect. No more running willy-nilly, screaming in the halls.

I don't know how it happened or when it started, but as this song mentioned ("Cecilia," if you've already forgotten) is just five seconds short of three minutes long, it stared being played at 9:56 *every weeknight.* Even folks who were already behind closed dorm doors studying would take it as a sign to open their doors. And *everyone* on the wing would get up, get out into the hallway, and DANCE! We twirled, we sang and we laughed and sang at the top of our lungs as our RA stood at the end of the hall, blasting this song from her boom box for us (it was 1989 afterall). And, then, as quickly as it started, it ended. We all smiled, hugged each other, said "good nights" and returned to our own rooms, shutting our doors and leaving a quiet common hall behind.

It was, in a word: magical. :-) And I will never ever hear this song without getting a big grin and wanting to dance. And I usually do.

3.) "December 1963 (Oh What a Night)" - The Four Seasons. Fast forward a couple of years. I'm still in college, but now I'm crazy in crush with a guy who is in my sorority's brother fraternity (got that?). And, for once, looking back? I don't remember an ounce of drama. He was just about the easiest man I ever fell in love with. I don't remember a back-and-forth or a "does he like me or does he not, can you check for me please?"or playing games type thing. It just suddenly was *there.* And it worked. We dated seriously my final two years of college and even lived together after we both graduated. But this song will always remind me of how we first got together.

I had my sorority sisters; he had his fraternity brothers. It was like one big family, as any of you who are brothers or sisters know. And at our college, we all always hung (hanged? *grin*) out together - be it at a house party or at the local bar (Buffy's) that one or two or six of us always worked at so the rest of us could always get in, even if under-age. (My first fake ID had me blonde, blue-eyed and from Florida, for pete's sake!) I actually don't even remember when Andy and I first met or first started talking. But I do remember that there was a bar right across the street from said Buffy's that was about 8x smaller and dirtier but had the best jukebox in the world. They also let all of us sisters dance on up on top of it to our favorite song -- and years before that movie Coyote Ugly movie came out, thankyouverymuch. And, on said juke? Was this song. "December 1963 (Oh What a Night)."

Once, early on in this whole love affair, a handful of us took a side trip to said bar before heading to Buffy's and someone dropped a dime in the jukebox ala Joan Jett and THIS song came on. Andy and I both lit up at the time (I think it was because of nickel taps and pickled eggs by the dozen, but still) and then danced like two idiot drunk white kids for the first time (meaning: badly. but we didn't care. We were in love!). And as we were getting to know each other, any time we were with our fellow fraternity brothers and sorority sisters in crowded Buffy's, we'd pretend that we "just wanted to hear that song on the jukebox! Should we go across the street just for a minute to play it?" Oh yes. Good excuse. Let's go.

*grin*

And, of course we did. It was our shy little excuse to "get away" in order to be together alone for a minute without actually having to come out and say it. And then we'd sit for hours talking and laughing instead of ever going back to the other bar. Inevitably, our other cast and crew of characters would wander over too to drink cheap beer and dance on the bar and we liked it. We'd typically get the normal 20-year-olds' type teasing ("ha! you two are over here again?") that we knew meant they were happy for us as opposed to really razzing. And, then, the whole family was there again. :-)

Andy and I didn't ultimately work out, but we parted with nothing but affection and good wishes for each other. So this song will forever bring a smile to my face and remind me of my first real deep true love whenever I randomly come across it when scanning through the radio stations in my car.

4.) "Animal" - Def Leppard. This goes way back to high school. I went to Catholic school up until 8th grade, then transferred to our local public school: Muskego High. In that we didn't get Confirmed until our Junior year, we had to take Catholic Confirmation classes outside of school since there were no religion courses during our daily schooling anymore.

This song reminds me of a time our Junior year when we went on our Confirmation retreat. I remember walking along the big white boulders on Lake Michigan's shoreline and someone playing this song. I also distinctly remember my friend Kelly singing it along with me as we were walking; someone must have had a radio playing it at the time. (Aside: I'd be really interested to know, if she reads this, if she remembers this too!) The memory is not as clear as the past few I described, but it is still vivid enough somehow that whenever I hear this song, I think of that day, down at the Lake, not but 16 years old. And I still smile every time.

And that brings us to #5. But I can't post a fifth, because if y'all know me as much as you're starting to, you know why I have to end at four and definitely not five (though I could have gone to six). :-) Of course, there are other songs. You have more than four as well, I bet. There are those that got you through heartbreak and those that helped you rise above that same thing. There are those that remind you of good times, of random memories, of things you may want to forget but, ultimately, may be a good thing you don't. I still remember my 8th grade class's theme song ("We Are the World") as well as my sister's ("Forever Young"), and they each make me think of that. These all make me smile and laugh and cry and even sometimes scream. But these four I just shared? Helped define important times in my life. So I will always, always love them.

And I know y'all have them too. The songs that make you, to quote Kenny from the very beginning, "..Go Back." I love that music does that. And I can't help but wonder if any of the people in my stories above might have some of the same memories as I.