Working with Millennials.... Blah Blah Blah

Go to your favorite search engine and type in "working with Millennials" and a whole bunch of pages, articles, tips and suggestions come up.  There are classes built around this topic today even: how to engage them, keep them interested or on task.  Most teach you tips on how to reach them or get the performance out of them you need in your work place.

And I'm so sick and tired of it all.

Listen, folks: I get that different generations have different upbringings.  Different technology, ways they were taught in school and definitely some advantages they can bring into a workplace being fresh and new and full of all these new things.

But where are *their* classes in working with the generations before them?  Why is it up to those who have been in the work environment long before encouraged to keep their processes in mind and not vice versa?

I'm not sure this applies to many of you, but for those of you who work in a "people industry" like I do, it does.  It's ever-changing and dynamic and I love that.  It's a whole bunch of generations working together: Boomers, X, Y, etc. And I love that too.  But this emphasis I see on how to work with the newest generation each time instead of any focus at all in working with the older ones  is starting to stick in my craw.

It's giving the perception that the generations that came before have nothing that should be adopted instead.  Case in point:  a phone call is sometimes much more warranted than an email.  But the teachings these days show each younger generation are more into emailing, texting or IMing than picking up the phone.  Should that be acceptable?  Just because it's the sign of our times, does it mean it's a *correct* sign of our times?  When each new generation graduates and comes into the work environment, do we always need to adapt to them and their ways instead of asking them to understand ours and at least meet us halfway?

I'm fortunate enough that I am one of those old dogs you can teach new tricks.  Firmly ensconced as a Gen X (didn't even have an email address until after college!), I take to technology well and have incorporated into my professional career when it didn't even exist much when said career started.  I'm also fortunate enough that I have colleagues of all these ranges and most of them seem to know when to stop clicking away in an open chat window and walk the few feet to my desk to talk in person instead. 

But the emphasis on how to work with, motivate and even *keep interested* each new generation makes me wonder.  Where did a work ethic go?  Where did the concept of  "paying your dues" and learning from older mentors get lost instead of expecting those more experienced to adapt to them instead?

And then: did *I* come off this way to the Baby Boomers too? ;-)

The Downside of Social Media

When did it become acceptable to end a personal friendship simply by unfriending them on Facebook?

Maybe I don't understand Facebook like others.  I consider it an extension of a friendship and not the friendship on a whole.  So when I have a disagreement or argument with a friend and then find they immediately unfriend me, it gets me to wondering what on earth this world is coming to sometimes.

Now, don't get me wrong.  People can unfriend for many reasons and it's totally understandable.  You meet folks at a gathering, have a fun time and add each other.  Then, weeks later realize you have really nothing in common so: unfriend.  Or you recognize you have dozens and dozens of friends in common, whether from high school or college, a social group or whatnot, so you add.  And then, weeks later realize you'll probably never interact anyway so: unfriend.   It IS a social network after all and the point is to be social.  If you're not being social, where's the point?  And in my own personal case, I totally understand why acquaintances might let me go.  I post a lot.  And I muddy up feeds.  I've had some folks tell me they're doing it because of that, or won't respond to any of my things because they hate stupid notifications they get after they do.  And that I completely get and truly appreciate when I get the messages telling me why.

But in the past year, I've also now had a few friends unfriend me without any discussion as to why and I only find out because I go to write to them and find out we're not friends anymore.  These aren't people mentioned in above scenarios; they're real friends (so to speak) that I've had for years, even decades, who I've spent time with, broke bread with, took trips with, went through the ups and downs of life with.  And then after one not-so-pleasant conversation, they decided that was enough to say no more.  Not to give me the courtesy to *tell* me no more or even why, but just to let me find out on my own and in a very public forum.

*Sigh*  I'm beginning to realize the downside of this medium.

Because in the past? Before the time of Facebook, Twitter and whatnot? If you got in a fight with a loved one, you gave each other cooling off time and then approached each other to work out whatever differences, real or perceived, were there. Now it seems it's okay to invite all your other mutual friends into your personal one-on-one issue.  Because people notice when folks aren't friends anymore.  And they ask.  Out of curiosity or concern or whatever, they ask.  It becomes a big ol' ""fuck you, I don't need you! And I don't care who knows it!"  Instead of a "hey. I just will keep some space for a while and decide whether to revisit that relationship again" on the private, personal, adult level it should be. 

Is it a flippant reaction out of anger or hurt with no thought behind it?  Perhaps.  I've had that happen to me too and, so surprised at it I was, I contacted that friend to ask if there was a way I harmed her and if there was a way I could make amends had I.  She instantly responded that she was so sorry she had done it; it was in a moment of confusion and the fact I reached out made her realize I really did care for her.  I was tickled to accept her friend request again.  I think we're even better friends today after that.

But it's really a hard way to test a friendship.  Not that any of these people are consciously doing that -- I'm just asking: when did it become acceptable to end a personal friendship in this way instead of picking up the phone, sending an email or even a letter?  Social media makes it far too easy to decide not to work through problems and just to say screw it.  And as much as I love the medium, that makes me very sad.