Kenny. Kamlesh. You Bastard.
Son. Friend. Colleague. Gentleman.
Gift. Treasure. Blessing. Love.
The world lost an amazing heart, a truly special human this week when the gentleman above left our world for the one that comes next.
You may have known him by one of the names above. You may have known him as more than one; maybe them all, even. I'm going to guess that most of you who know Kamlesh even have more words to add than I just did. That's just the man he was.
I almost feel a little like a fraud writing an entry about Kamlesh when I haven't seen him in a while. I almost didn't write this because of that: for fear of folks thinking that I had no right to write about a man that I haven't seen in person for a few years now. But I wanted to anyway, because of that very fact: that he was just that rare type of person that you actually could go years without seeing each other and still feel close to him. Because he always had a way of making you feel close, even if you weren't physically together.
Even though I didn't get to be with him lately in presence like we had for many years, we always still kept in touch on social sites and shared private messages and emails about things that mattered, or things that made us laugh or things that were just plain silly. I always thought that was just a way to keep in touch until we could get together again. I always thought that would happen.
And I still know it will.
Someday.
I have memories of Kamlesh that, even now as I'm tearing up writing this, I'm laughing too. Like the time that his best friend Phil took me out to this specialty running group with him and Kamlesh actually looked at us after our first time doing it and told us he had actually been doing it for years and was crazy tickled we were now doing it too. We were all surprised! But happy! So we all ended up in Wisconsin, 900 miles from here, 6 months later to do a run there together. And then others after even.
And then there was the time, on many a Thanksgiving potluck, that Kamlesh would bring the extra special something. After a few years, he asked if he could make the turkey to help us and we were so happy to let him have that task -- until, when he saw the instructions to "wash turkey before baking" and thinking of salmonella and all, decided to wash it with *anti-bacterial soap.* You know, to make sure everyone would be safe and healthy and not get sick, right? (Yeah, is that not Kamlesh, seriously? Thinking of others always?) But, heehee! One of my favorite memories to this day is the sight of that turkey, bubbling in the oven. He was sheepish and even a little bit horrified about it, thinking he ruined dinner; I found it adorable. Phil did too. Kamlesh so did not ruin dinner; instead, he made an amazing memory for us all that we'll never forget.
Everything about Kamlesh is unforgettable like that.
When he laughed, you couldn't help but laugh. If you were in a down mood, his very presence picked you up. Everyone has bad, ugly or down moods: but I never ever saw one with this gentleman. He had just as many challenges as the rest of us do in life (if not more), but he never let them affect how he was going to live out his day or treat you when he was with you.
For example: it was nearing my birthday once and I was unemployed, poor, in a bad place. In a funk even. I had mentioned once in a group setting how I really just needed to get myself out of my funk and at least start working out again. I very barely knew him then. But the next day? I got a brand new beautiful Eddie Bauer gym bag (in my favorite color no less -- that's Kamlesh, he knew!) on my doorstep with a little note of encouragement that I'd get over "this time I was going through." I still use it to this day.
That's what Kamlesh is, though. He's everything I said in the opening of this blog, but so much more that, even as a writer, I can't put into words. He knew how to make a person feel special and unique and precious and worthy. And it's because all of those words I just wrote exactly explain him and his soul.
Special. Unique. Precious. Worthy.
I'd say rest in peace, my friend, but I already have a feeling you're not resting, dear Kamlesh. You're watching over all of us and still making our lives a better place even if you're not here with us. It's who you are, afterall.
One amazing man.
As I was searching for answers I came across your blog post. So I thought I’d add a comment. Just because you have not seen him in person recently doesn’t mean you cannot share your thoughts! I enjoyed reading them.
ReplyDeleteI cannot express how much of a shock this was. Thursday night we are having dinner and enjoying ourselves and the next day he is no longer with us. I’ve only known Kamlesh – I didn’t call him Kenny – for about one and half years. He fast became someone that I called friend and I looked forward to working with him every opportunity that I could. Yes, he always had a smile and there aren’t enough words to describe how good of a guy he was.
I was fortunate enough to spend most of last week with him; and then again this past Thursday evening. Kamlesh discovered what had to be the best sandwich he has ever had, an Italian beef sandwich from Portillo’s in Vernon Hills, IL. I will never forget how much he enjoyed that sandwich; he went back for a second one! He told me on Thursday that when he arrived Wednesday night the first thing he did was go straight to Portillo’s. His words; “ I didn’t fool around, I ordered a large sandwich. I didn’t want to fool around with the fries”. He also discovered the best pizza he has had, Giordano’s. On Thursday night at Lou Malnati's you could tell he was having the best of times. He was so happy getting to meet many of his peers that he had communicated with only through email.
With Kamlesh it wasn’t just the work discussion that told you this was a bright man; it was all the other stuff we talked about. I will miss our discussions on everything from genetics to physics, dinosaurs to history… was there a subject he didn’t know something about? He told me that he read a lot. However, the technology discussions were our best! I found someone else to help me bash iPhones and iPADs. And now Kamlesh is laughing at me as I have to hold an iPhone and iPAD in my hands!
Thank you for a wonderful note both of you, its so easy to keep crying when you can read this and atleast feel like he was loved and happy. Will miss him dearly.
ReplyDeleteOh Dale! thank you so so much for your story, too. I'm totally smiling now: I can totally hear him saying that about the fries! (and then laughing his laugh afterward, of course!) And thank you, too, PJ. What a blessing we have in having known Kamlesh.
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